Reply to Anyone Else Emotionally Lonely and Married

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]....and I will contribute what I have always contributed to posts like these.

In my view, marriage (specifically the Anglo-American approach we practice) was never designed to sustain love and attraction between two people. Despite all the religious, traditional, and ethical noise that we all grew up with, the philosophical basis of marriage is for family life. In other words, European society needed a way of protecting property rights and estates for new persons coming in (babies), and those going out (through death), so marriage was just an institution designed to structure our lives legally, especially since the separation of Church and State centuries ago. If you think about it, why do we need to establish a legal contract around who we fall in love with and how we need to express ourselves romantically and sexually? As humans we logically do not, but at the same time, if we didn't have a way of structuring this, then social life would be one muddled mess, not to mention the confusion in the legal system. So the fact that you are emotionally lonely and 'checking out' to my mind is human nature.

Knowing what I know, I suppose I am never going to understand why people are in such a rush to fall in love (on the basis of physical features) and sign a marital contract as a way of justifying to the world how they feel about the person. Today we mistakenly use marriage as a way of affirming love for another person, without understanding WHY we practice WHAT we practice. For me, marriage and parenting may or may not go hand-in-hand (and has to be an individual decision), but either way, neither necessarily guarantees the illusion of 'happily ever after' happiness, which we have been socialized into thinking really exists.

Yeah, I am the same early 30s single guy (for those who think it actually matters)........... :roll: [/quote]

I agree with your historical references, however there is something really beautiful about spending your life with a partner who shares your values and your dreams.  I just went to a 50th wedding anniversary party for parents of friends, and while I know they've had their ups and downs, they have built a wonderful life together filled with family, friends, traditions and love.  They are partners, and they've created a life together which is inspirational to me.  I'm divorced, but hopeful that I might find a partner in the truest sense of the word to share myself with, and build something.  [/quote]

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