Reply to How does your spouse go to couples counseling when he works 70 hours per week?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Off topic  - to the PP who is a mom working 60-70 hours a week: Kudos to you! It's admirable to see someone work so hard at something they love and I agree, there are lots of reasons that sets a good example. I'm so tired of the couple extremely judgmental posters on this board who never miss an opportunity to tell parents that they are "sad" , their lives are "sad" and their kids must be miserable because they have a parent (or two) who finds their work fulfilling and/or work in a field that doesn't offer a 9-5 M-F schedule.  Doctors, lawyers, military members, government officials, police officers, truck drivers, college professors, business owners and so many more aren't entitled to have children according to their narrowly held beliefs on how available everyone else should be to their kids.

Signed, a 15 year SAHM who is job hunting 
[/quote]

NP here.  No, I don't say kudos to anyone working 70 hours a week -- especially the ones who see it as "proving" something or being a model to their kids.  Why?  Because they then set the standard as working those horribly unreasonable hours.  What do you think has happened in this country?  We work more hours than people in other first world countries and we aren't as happy.

It's because of this martyrdom about working long hours.  Doctors, lawyers, et cetera, in other countries don't necessarily keep the same hours.  It becomes a "this is what I have to do to compete."  And then everyone has to do it in order to find success.  And we all suffer.

A person -- man or woman -- should be able to have a successful career and model being a good professional to their kids without working 70 hours a week.  But it has become ingrained in our thinking that this is what you have to do .

And beyond that, we are now overscheduling kids -- activities, homework.  They have no free time or down time.  No wonder no one has time to work out.

The best example to model to children is a well-rounded, balanced and full life.  And I don't think working 70 hours a week, every week, is a good example of that.  It's one thing if it is every now and again.  But every week.  It seems ridiculous to me.  And it does affect other people, because it then sets the norm.  "Well, Larla works 70 hours a week and has a family, so you should be able to, too."  It's absurd.

I hate what has happened to our society.

And furthermore, I hate the suggestion that you either work 70 hours a week or you are a failure as a career woman, might as well just quit working at all.  (I don't think men should be working 70 hours a week either.)[/quote]

10:03 here - I agree that working so much is not good for people or society.  Where is the time to participate in the community and just enjoy life?  Unless you are lucky and have a job that is your calling and is not really work to you, the crazy demands of working so much just aren't healthy.  I feel like my years at the law firm are kind of lost years that passed me by and that is not good.  When you work that much, you lose touch with friends and family and, for me, it was very lonely.  Totally off topic I know![/quote]

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