Reply to Would you date someone who lost A LOT of weight?

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[quote=Anonymous]An interesting question, OP.  I have also lost a lot of weight (150+ lbs), and while I am married (lost the weight while married), I've wondered how I would approach the issue if I ever had to be in the dating scene again.

I think it's probably very particular to the people in the relationship, but I think the primary things my husband has had to adjust to given my weight loss are that 1) I necessarily pay far closer attention to what and how much I eat than I used to, and b) I need to make time in our lives for me to exercise.  My approach to eating ISN'T easy-going or natural, because for me, easy-going and natural would lead to regaining.  I think that's something that a partner in a serious relationship needs to know, understand, and be willing to accept.  I love 11:35's post, and mention of how he's adapted his cooking style to help his wife achieve her maintenance goals.  I do all the cooking in my house, but my husband has been supportive in similar ways.  For instance, we still go out to eat once or twice a week, but we choose restaurants where we know there will be some reasonable options for me on the menu.

I also agree with PPs that I hope in time your pride about losing the weight will also translate into not feeling ashamed about previously being much heavier.  You have done an AMAZING job in transforming your weight and your health.  You have shed the pounds, and you can shed the shame, too.  You weren't a bad person when you were obese.  You were a great friend/daughter/employee/etc., and kind and generous or playful and fun or whatever.  You were simply overweight, and probably didn't see as much value in yourself as you should have.  Look at the old photos of yourself and see the value in that person; she is no less valuable than the woman you are now, she just didn't like herself as much.  I understand that you never want to go back to being overweight (I think it myself every.single.day), but please don't feel shame.  You should be EXTREMELY proud that you've had the courage and strength and dedication to lose the weight, and I wouldn't hesitate to share it with anyone, ever.    [/quote]

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