Reply to His Family Bringing Up His Ex

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, think about this. For your guy's kid or family, it may be weird if everyone is together and his/her mom [i]isn't[/i] mentioned. Just because the parents are no longer together and she is not physically there with the family for the holiday or BBQ or whatever, she still exists and it is still natural for the family to have interest or curiosity in what she is up to, and also ensure that your guy's kid knows that the family cares about her and is asking after her.

My stepdaughter lives in another state FT with her mom. We get her summers and holidays. Especially during big holidays, I make sure to ask about her mom (what are mom and stepdad doing for Thanksgiving, etc.) so she knows it's OK to miss her on those holidays or talk about her in general. I weave it into other conversations, too (e.g., when at the mall, asking if mom would be OK with her wearing ripped jeans or, when reviewing grades, what did mom say about your chem test grade). This shows her that we're all co-parenting and interested in her development.

Try to think of it as what everyone is doing for the sake of the kid and not that it is some judgment on you. 
[/quote]

They don't ask the kid about his mom. They don't even ask just when he's around or brought up. It could be us visiting his aunt and uncle and cousins. No kids around, just adults. And after initial pleasantries, they want to talk about how his ex is doing and what she's been up to.

If you went to visit your husbands family without your stepdaughter, and each time you saw them, after they said hi, their next question or move was to ask about your husbands ex, you'd find that to be for the sake of the kid and it wouldn't bother you?[/quote]

Are they polite and friendly with you or do they just say hi and ignore you?  If the former, then what is there to worry about? If the latter, they prob like the mom better than you or you somehow do not fit in with them. Maybe your jealousy is showing? It is a turn off...

Bottom line -- either you say something to them or you don't. So what do you do - do something about it if it matters so much and bothers you or silently seethe every time? Or grow up and feel good that your guy's fam isn't the type to dismiss someone who was essentially family. Which life do you feel like living? The adult one or the jealous one?[/quote]

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