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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
He is about to be 10. His family is not local, tho, they are all up in New England. There is no daily activities or school events that they are involved in since they're so far away. And my ex, like you, [b]shielded his family from all her wrongdoing and completely took the fall for the relationship ending, [/b]in order to protect their view of her. Which is partly why he was bothered, initially, after the break up that they were all still wanting to keep up with her and what she was doing all the time. I'm not sure if he still feels that way now though.

The questions really aren't about logistics with his kid. In that case, like for a holiday or when we travel up there, they just ask if his kid is going to be able to make it or if they are with the ex. That would be ludicrous for me to be at all bothered by, and I'm not.

It is the wanting to be current in everything going on in her life that I was unsure about. Where's she living. Where's she working. How's she doing. Did she move? Where to? Why? Is she still with ___. How often do you talk to her and see her?

I wasn't sure if these were normal questions to be asking 2-3 years after breaking up with someone. A "how's ___ doing?" and a reply of "Oh, she's doing well." followed by a "that's good to her, send her my best" to me, seems like a normal exchange. Not 5+ minutes about her.

But apparently, that's normal, so I'll adjust my expectations on that. Thank you for the insight from everyone![/quote]

:roll: Or maybe he's feeding you the typical blame-the-ex line and exaggerating, and his family actually likes her.

[/quote]

She cheated on him, and is still with the man she cheated with. His whole family is happy for her and the new guy because she was able to move on and be happy in life again. That was what bothered him. But, he never said anything about her being the cheater and catalyst for the relationship ending. He told them things weren't working out, he probably wasn't being a good partner, so they went their separate ways and that's why it ended. I mean, it could be bullshit, except I know she is living with this guy and I know his family doesn't think she cheated on him.[/quote]

Okay but here's another perspective. I have a brother in law whose ex-wife cheated on him with her law partner. She also married that guy, and is still married to him. My extended family still speaks to her. They fully know what she did, it's never been a secret. But guess what- she's the mother of four grandchildren. [b]They're NOT going to freeze her out or pretend she doesn't exist.[/b] My  mother in law has fully told me that no matter what I do, even if my husband and I were to divorce, [b]she was not going to stop speaking to me[/b] because again, I am the mother of two of her grandchildren. She knows what my ex-SIL did to my BIL but she still loves her in her own way. What happens in a marriage/relationship is between those two people, not the extended family. They still see her at events involving the kids (graduations, showers, birthdays) and they speak to her because it's what you do. They treat my husband's ex-wife the same way. She stops into family events with her son if my DH and our kids and I are unable to make it, because he should still be part of family functions regardless. They are friendly with her.

This woman is the mother of their blood family member. [b]They are not going to cut her out, pretend she doesn't exist, or ignore her existence[/b]. It's up to you to put on your big girl pants and deal with it. [/quote]

Again, I do not expect for anyone to just cut off ALL communication with her. If that was the impression I left or have been leaving, it is incorrect. I was just wondering if it's normal for family to ALWAYS start a conversation about her at a family gathering when are all around hanging out, and I'm supposed to be in a conversation talking about how they miss her and wanting to know everything going on with her and how happy they are about it.

If I didn't have my big girl panties on, I would be throwing temper tantrums, having an attitude, leaving the room when she's brought up and taking it out on my boyfriend. Precisely zero of those things have taken place.[/quote]

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