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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I am a DW who was forced into a breadwinner role.  My DH suddenly got very ill.  So it wasn't even that we could quit daycare, he had no income, and add to that medical bills.

I let the resentment build until I exploded and finally went to therapy (and yes, I know it doesn't say great things about me to resent a sick person, but there you go).  I am glad you are going to therapy.  A lot of my issue was that I had to really work in therapy to ACCEPT that I was the breadwinner, something that I just never, ever wanted to be.  I wanted to work (and always have), but also have a partner that did as well.  Before this illness, my DH and I made nearly the exact same in terms of salary, so it was a nice balance.

For me, I talked a lot about the feelings I had with my DH, especially after the first couple of therapy sessions.  She perhaps just does not get it that you are feeling this much intense pressure.

I am also a lot like your DW - I would have a very messy house and be completely "up to here" if I stayed home.  I have met people who are so excellent at staying at home, so patient, that I feel like shrinking in their presence.  It is just not meant for everyone.  She may need to accept that as well, although I am not sure how you suggest that to her, or if she goes to therapy with you and comes to that conclusion herself.

Best wishes.[/quote]

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