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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. Thanks for taking the time to respond.

She's already tried to poison my relationship with him. It was really bad for a while and he even knows about some of the lies she told to do it, and somehow he still thinks of their relationship as based in mutual honesty and says so. She's moved on to destroying his relationship with other family members now. It's so heartbreaking. Right now I feel like if he reaches out, I'm just a listener, and I try to be supportive without pointing out any of the things I see her doing, but how long can that go on? She's going to break him until he's just a shell. And he's letting her.[/quote]

Instead of just being a listener or offering advice, can you ask him questions. Start easy and eventually get to more probing questions. When he complains about her, you can ask "why do you think she does that?", "How does that make you feel?", etc...[/quote]

He's actually very careful not to complain about her, even when they are fighting. He keeps the issues private. I do prompt him and sometimes he offers details about his feelings, but never things that she's done to hurt/upset him. The stuff I know about is just what I have actually observed, and it's pretty bad, over the years. I though things had changed, but then she was playing the games again. The cycle keeps repeating, and that's why I am concerned because I don't think it's a matter of maturity or learning from mistakes, etc. There really seems to be a problem with who she is and how she treats him and who he becomes when with her.[/quote]

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