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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Ask her out to lunch and talk to her about how you feel.
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When my SIL had a breakdown, she told the therapist I didn't like her and our family treated her badly. BOTH lies. It wasn't that I disliked her.  We had nothing in common. She always thought she was better than any of us. My mother and sisters always treated her well but unless you kissed her butt, she took it as we didn't like her. So when family gatherings happened, I just ignored her. No matter what you talked to her about, she got offended. She was not some delicate flower needing protection. She was a self centered bitch and I refused to play games with her. 
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I shut the door on my brother and his wife and moved on. My mother and sisters continued to kiss her butt and it got them nowhere. My brother just stuck to his wife's side.

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OP here. You're describing exactly what I've experienced. And she *does* play the victim constantly, and of course my brother comes along as protective hero, completely ignoring the facts of the situation, which usually have involved her actively instigating trouble. And I apologize to take responsibility for any mistakes and keep the peace, and suddenly she's ignoring me and bitching about me.

Given that, why do you think asking her out to lunch would help?[/quote]

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