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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You expect us to have sympathy for you when you have none for your wife?  Seriously?

Damn.  Grow up and get some self awareness and emotional maturity.  If you get a divorce I'm sure it's the best thing that could happen to your wife. [/quote]

Oh FFS she's verbally abusive, lies and cheats, according to OP. I cannot fathom where this vitriol is coming from.
Best of luck to you, OP.[/quote]

The vitriol comes from his self description that his wife lives in a "fantasy land" because she is upset about living far away from friends and family.

That's not a fantasy land, that's a valid complaint and cause for marital strain. It is at least worth some empathy from the OP, NOT  the gas lighting response that he's given.

Counselling only works if you do the work ON YOURSELF. going is not enough. The fact that OP refers to a fantasy land about a valid concern[b] indicates to me he was just punching a card [/b]when going to counselling.

Clearly his mind is made up. He's only coming here to gain supporters so he can solidify to his wife that he is "right". He just needs to move along and stop being a dick. [/quote]

I am the OP.   My wife and I have been through two rounds of counseling.  The first second round was three years ago.  The entire time of the counseling, when she would try to blame me for her decisions, the counselor gently told her she needs to take responsibility for her own actions.  She needs to understand she can only control herself and her actions, not me or my actions.  She walked out of the counseling and said she will not go back.  I have been seeing a therapist separately now b/c I need to: a) learn to cope with and respond to my wife's anger and the inappropriate ways she expresses that anger.

When she lashes out violently or is verbally abusive, she uses the line that she would not behave this way if I "did not make her angry."  This is the classic response of an abuser.  It is there in all the literature.  As to her cheating, she blames me for being "emotionally unavailable to her."  I am sorry dear, but you made the decision to cheat, not me.  And perhaps I would have been more "emotionally available" had you not been consistentl tearing me down every minute of every day.

I also need to make an exit plan and to ensure my kids are looked after both emotionally and physically.  This is very very hard.

I am sorry that my DW has no friends or family nearby.  It is partially of her own making.  [/quote]

Is this a troll. The first mention of cheating came from one of these PPs as far as I can tell skimming through posts. Then OP went rolled with the cheating theme. Something doesn't add up. This reminds me of one of the trolls here. [/quote]

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