Reply to DH didn't make partner - dealing with imminent major reduction of HHI

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Thanks for all of the responses.  As you can see, I woke up at 5 AM the day after Thanksgiving unable to sleep.

Some more background/response to questions:
a) It happened Monday so we haven't even really had time to process it.
b) I was in a doctor's office and have been SAHM since first kid was born 10 years ago.
c) I will obviously consider shift work but haven't really been able to even think about logistics/options/etc.
d) technically DH can stay for another year and go up for partner again (can go up twice) but got some strong messages that his practice area isn't really going to be a focus area for the firm.
e) he definitely won't leave without something else in-hand but given the legal economy in general we need to start planning now.
f) my entire side of the family is here and so leaving would be tough.  But we will consider it.[/quote]

You guys need to focus on d and e.   They mean your husband isn't in imminent danger of losing a paycheck for at least another 18 months, but the time has probably come to look for an exit strategy.

I'm sure your husband is disappointed but it's not a cause for devastation.  At least at a BigLaw firm, associates today only have two paths to partnership:  they either have to be part of a very active, profitable practice group or they must have personally demonstrated business-generating potential.  Preferably, both.  Most associates today never aspire to partnership and prepare to be disappointed even if they do.  It can be arbitrary and decisions can be made on the basis of information to which the associate may never have access.

If your husband is in his 30s or early 40s, he still has good career opportunities.  Employers should recognize that he would not have made it to a senior associate level without having demonstrated strong skills.   The people who really get screwed at law firms today are associates who get laid off before they've ever acquired meaningful skills of those who are passed over and hang around as "counsel" until they are in their late 40s and 50s and then face age discrimination when they eventually do have to look for something else.

There will be a silver lining, though.  Your DH probably will get to spend more time with his kids and may eventually find something that is less stressful and more rewarding than BigLaw practice.  Being a partner at a BigLaw firm can be as much of a sentence as a reward.

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