Reply to So: Are there good guys and girls out there? Is anyone happily married for a long time?

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Reply to "So: Are there good guys and girls out there? Is anyone happily married for a long time?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Just a thought but if you were together for 2 years before marriage (assuming a one year engagement but perhaps yours was shorter) you guys made the decision to get married somewhere around the one year mark.  That's not really much time to get to know someone to make a lifetime commitment to, particularly if you aren't living together.

There's no guarantees in life and certainly there's people that have successful marriages that get married quickly but you'll increase your chances of success by spending more time getting to know the person.

FWIW been together for 10 years and things are amazing![/quote]

Agreed, we married too early. Both came from conservative backgrounds and he pushed for the marriage when I was wanting to slow down. Should've been a red flag, but back then I thought it was romantic. Like a champ.[/quote]

Okay, then I'll ask my 2 cents. I married my guy 5 months after we met. We've been together for 19 years. We were not (kinda arrange marriage) in love when we got married, but I liked who he was and we shared similar values. We discussed it our future and decided that he likes me enough to marry me. We have had issues/stress with kids/parenting, job stresses, neglect, sex etc. But I have always loved and liked him and have not (his deal breaker) cheated. I don't think he has either, though he could've because of the constant travel for his job. Although I have loved him, I was unhappy for many years, well, until about 3 years ago at least. I busied myself with the kids and try the best that I could. For his part, he is a great provider, hard worker, a non complainer, tolerant of me, handsome, fit, responsible, ethical, funny and generous to me and the kids. All his positive attribute were evident from the beginning and I hung on to them when he was emotionally walled, neglectful, unaffectionate. I always respected him because he was honest and reliable. When I felt like living him, he wouldn't let me. I considered greatly his good qualities, and always did a cost benefit analysis, his good qualities outweighed his bad ones.

And now, over 18 years later, not only has he become mr. mom. He also very attentive, responsive, and is greatly more attached to me, more so than I am to him I think. I did have a coming to jesus with him at some point which made him change a few minor things - maintaining regular contact when he is traveling. We both adore each other now, when we just loved each other before. And now I am in love with him too. He seems to need me and seek me out constantly. I am glad I stuck through it. He is now a very attentive parent to our 2 teenagers and is slowly revolving his life around family life. I am really happy with him and can't see a life without him in it now. The road there has been long. OP, I share my story with you so you understand that  there's no perfect formula to happy. It is a complex journey for most. Be patient and hopeful always and see where it takes you.[/quote]

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