Reply to Survey: Did your parents use corporal punishment?

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Reply to "Survey: Did your parents use corporal punishment?"

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[quote=Anonymous]"when I read these threads I'm surprised that so many people have such a strong reaction to hearing that people got spanked. Maybe it's a temperament thing, but my DH and I both come from families of three children. All six of us were spanked at some point or another. All six of us excelled in school, including college and grad school (where career appropriate), none of us ever got into any serious trouble, and most importantly, we all feel that we grew up in warm, safe, loving homes with parents who cared about us deeply and made huge sacrifices so that we could get to where we all are now. I'm not saying everyone should spank, or even that spanking is good or right, but I do think it's a little dramatic to act like every kid that was spanked is a trauma victim "

I am 50 years old and second in sibling order out of four, and we were all spanked with the hand and the belt. We also got the paddle and detention in Catholic school.  Two of us are attorneys (top 10 schools), one is a successful businessman, the last is an IT professional. I don't remember being traumatized at all by the spankings that were typically administered by my dad. We had to wait in our rooms until our dad came home from work. The frequency of spankings went down considerably over time and as we grew too big. None of us has ever been in trouble with the law; we are respectful of authority; our marriages are all intact; we all have created loving and warm homes; and none of us are violent or abusive. We deeply love and respect both of our parents, and are looking forward to our annual huge Thanksgiving family gathering.

That said, however, we do not spank our kids as a general matter. This, to us, constitutes abuse, and is a poor substitute to finding other ways of effectively and systematically disciplining a child. The balance of power, size and strength is too oit of whack for it to be anything other than abuse. We use time-outs, loss of privileges, , and good talking tos instead. I've been sorely tempted to give a good swat to the seat on many occasions, however.

Despite all of this, I would find it difficult to judge those who don't have the patience or creativity to sort out how to discipline a difficult child.[/quote]

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