Reply to So: Are there good guys and girls out there? Is anyone happily married for a long time?

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Reply to "So: Are there good guys and girls out there? Is anyone happily married for a long time?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]

Happily married 26 years, together for 28.

Honestly, most women just choose poorly. They ignore the warning signs. [b]They go for the cute or rich or powerful guy instead of someone who has integrity. Then they have children too soon, and let the children unravel the marriage[/b].  They don't stay connected to their partner. And, as a parent, I'm always astounded by how flummoxed this generation is by having children.  [/quote]

Most, yes. OP here, again. I went for broke, not my physical type, and def. not powerful. But I thought, in my head, he was a good guy. We clicked on all the big picture stuff. The morals, values, life goals, dreams, etc. We were together 2 years before marriage (didn't live together, maybe that was a reason), were together 4 before we decided it was time for a kid, we had a serious discussion re: getting pregnant. That if we decide to do this, we have to be sure we're in this together for the long haul, no divorce. No doubts. We got pregnant. A year and a half later, he was sleeping with someone else. Never loved me, never wanted to be with me, never found me attractive. Forced the divorce, then said it was my decision, I was never happy. If I'd seen the signs now, that he was a man without honor and integrity, then, this marriage would never have happened. The damage of those 8 years together won't ever go away. It made me question my whole being to the core, my beliefs, my judgment, my everything. Particularly as I see how these choices affect our DS.

I want to be in love with a real man this time, one with integrity, one who is generous with his feelings, honest and strong. And I keep running into pretentious hipsters or sex-driven alphas, or just awkward guys. And I'm starting to wonder, my list is really not so complicated, is it me? Is it life? Or is it a matter of time. Because I am definitely ready for good. I wasted way too long of my life with bad. [/quote]

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