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[quote=Anonymous]OP here. Thank you all for the responses. While I don't necessarily agree with everything, it has certainly helped me to see my brother's perspective. Even if I don't think my mom played favorites, he does, and he's hurt, so I asked myself if I wanted to be right or if I wanted a relationship with my brother's family. I decided the latter was far more important.

I just sent an email to SIL telling her that I wanted to work on building our relationship, apologizing for contributing to the breakdown in their relationship with my mom. I also acknowledged that she is the only reason that our families have a relationship at all, thanked her for her efforts over the years, and recognized that it was a difficult position for her to be in. I offered to go through my brother for communication if she would prefer. I also apologized for not calling to tell them about the baby. I didn't mention that my reason was because they hadn't seen DD2, just that for too long I relied on my mother to tell them things about my family and since that wasn't an option anymore, I should have been proactive and called them.

I told her that I very much want to see her family and have our kids know each other, and that her family is always welcome at my house when they're in the area. I said that when we go back home next I would like to see them and would be happy to travel to them if they would like to meet closer to their house or are still not speaking to my mom.

Basically, I ate all the crow, laid no blame, and took responsibility for my actions. I'm happy with what I did. I hope it works to repair the relationship for our children. Thanks again for all the feedback.[/quote]

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