Reply to Hostile pre-teen: Any reviews on "The Total Transformation Program"?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here -- had the first meeting.  Went really well.  DH and I are going to go for several sessions to learn how to appreciate DD for who she is but also learn how to hear the anxiety and not respond to it as a personal attack... but also not let her hide behind the anxiety (negativity).  DD is going to start a "girls social confidence" group in Jan.  DD liked the counselor, so I think it could be a good thing for her.[/quote]

I'm glad the first meeting went well for you and your family!

WOuld you mind sharing about anxiety and the effects it has on your daughter?  We may be dealing with anxiety with our pre-teen and am trying to read what I can....
Thanks.[/quote]

I'm not really sure yet-- I have to learn more in the sessions.  The counselor said that some kids are "yes" kids and some kids are "no" kids.  DD is definitely a "no."  That is her first response to almost anything.  But, if I get her to do something that she said "no" to doing, she will likely have a good time.  She is likely to quit things or give up easily -- that is because of anxiety (according to the counselor).  Transitions are bad... i.e. she doesn't like to change what she is doing.  DD has always been prickly.  I mean, always.  I guess the counselor is saying that DD's natural reaction to life is to bristle and that is a sign of anxiety.  It's kind of mixed in with being an introvert too and preferring books or staying home alone to engaging with people/activities.  DD is not "anxious" or crying or anything at home.  Saying "no" to things is her way of exerting power when she feels insecure about how to handle something.  I'm not sure how the negative attitude of "why do I have to do everything" or "everyone else gets ahead of me" fits into this.  But, I definitely see her inability to assert herself in social situations resulting in her getting the "crumbs" and then she feel like the victim... so, I guess, the anxiety affects the social interactions which re-enforce negative self perceptions which fuel anxiety?

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