Reply to Hostile pre-teen: Any reviews on "The Total Transformation Program"?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op here -- 12:35 -- that was a big concern for me b/c I don't want DD to think that I think she's defective or that I'm taking her to someone to fix her.  When I said that to the intake person, she gave me those words to use about working on improving our communication.  I didn't think of that myself.  I'm sure this practice -- which is focused on kids--- has a plan for keeping the parents in the mix.  I know our first meeting is me with the counselor for 30-40 min. and then DD with the counselor for 30 min. or so... and then a plan is created (if necessary).  So, DD won't be hearing what I have to say directly.
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Great job OP.  I had a similar experience with my 9 yr old boy.  Always difficult and prickly but basically fine.  He encountered a health condition last year that finally prompted me to take him to talk to someone.  He loved it!!  He's younger but I basically told him "i've been giving you advice about xxx, and I'm not sure I'm right so I want to go with you to talk to an expert about it."  He responded enthusiastically,  In future conversations, admitting you don't have all the answers will let your daughter know that its ok to ask for help.  Moreover, it indicates that you're on her side and want to work with her to make your family happier for everyone.

The anxiety suggestion also ring true to me.  You have to remember that the nastiness some kids display is often a symptom of some other feeling they're not expressing.  Just learning to express those feelings in words might do wonders.  In boys anxiety = pysical agression to exert some control.  Your DD may be doing the same thing.   [/quote]

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