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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Dating Newly Sober Alcoholic(?)"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I hope I haven't given the impression I'm not taking it seriously. As I said, I don't know anyone in recovery (or, I may and just don't know it) so I don't know how all this works. I did not know that you aren't supposed to be making other changes in your life at the same time. Or waiting a year for things. But the info I've learned here is giving me a new perspective on this that I haven't considered. And I don't want it to sound like I'm making excuses for him, but he's not trying to be a "new" person, but I guess try to improve? He just said he feels like we are taking a big step, so we should do it right, and that's why he's wanting to get a better job to be in a better place financially (to sell my house and buy a new one, have $$ for the wedding and then having kids), participating more in church, distancing some questionable friends, etc. The only part he's doing a complete 180 is the drinking.[/quote] This isn't related to the drinking exactly, but I would keep an eye on this. Getting married and starting a family doesn't mean you have to become a brand new person- people who think this way are often the ones feeling like they lost themselves a few years into a marriage, and start doing questionable things to find themselves or be themselves again. Have you all had discussions on what marriage looks like to each of you? He needs to take a lot of pressure off of himself to be this perfect husband and father- the alternative is not good.[/quote]
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