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Reply to "When parents hold money over your head"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]When you accept money from any person in your life (not an anonymous giver) there are always strings attached. [/quote] Depends on the lenders. My parents have given us money with no strings attached. My parents decided at a certain point (when they were around 70) that they had more than enough money to live on and that their money would go to the kids and grandkids anyways after they passed, so they started giving us money in amounts under the gift amount annually as they could afford. Some years we got the maximum and some years we got none. But they figured that the money would go to us when they died and this would decrease the amount that we would have to pay estate tax on. But when we get the gifts, the only restriction they've ever asked for is when we bought our current house that we have at least one bedroom on the ground floor because my father can't handle steps anymore. That was easy enough to ensure. [/quote] +1. My parents also give with no strings attached. They also have the attitude that their money is also my money, because it will eventually be mine one day anyway. They just mention that they hope the money will go toward their grandkids' education, which is where all of it has been going.[/quote] So "no strings" but in one case the parents ask for there to be a bedroom on the ground floor (for them to use) and the other "hopes" it will be used towards their grandchildren's education. The giving party always has opinions they voice to the giver on how they want the money spent. It's only a matter of degrees. [/quote] Nothing like that from our parents. They gave to kid's 529 and moved into assisted living. They're gone now and we only have good memories of their generosity.[/quote] I'm the first PP. They gave the money with no strings. Later when we purchased a new house, they asked but had we not had a first floor guest room, they wouldn't complain or hold it over our heads. There would have been no recriminations. My parents don't do that. In fact, my mother-in-law also has hip problems and likes the first floor bedroom. We had one time when all three of them came and my father proudly proclaimed that he could stay in the upstairs guest room and let my mother-in-law stay downstairs. It was a request, not a request with strings, but a request. He would have accepted whatever we had done, whatever house we had bought without complaints and no reference to the money that they had gifted to me. While you may have parents who have ulterior motives or who make requests with strings. In my parents case, they had a logistical problem since my father is not very mobile and sometimes uses a wheelchair and we understood and accommodated because I love my parents. Not because they put strings on gifts past. In our case, we like all of our parents and want to encourage them to visit, not discourage them, so this was a request we were happy to accommodate.[/quote]
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