Reply to Found out that close family member is a child (sex) abuser.

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Found out that close family member is a child (sex) abuser."

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, thank you for your support of your DH's cousin.  This must have taken extraordinary courage for her.

For those who are focusing on what a shame it is that she hasn't come forward earlier....yeah.  You're part of the problem.  Implicitly blaming victims for the fact that their abuser may have other victims is placing responsibility on the victim.  This poor woman was abused by her dad.  The horror and torture she has suffered are enough, and frankly it is amazing that she has been able to come forward now, not knowing if she would be believed or supported.  She is a hero.

It is really, really hard to lead a double life, when your family presents a happy family face to the world but you are in hell.  And the sad thing is that children often feel responsible to protect the image of their family because they so desperately wish it to be true.  My family was a chaotic mess but the last thing I wanted to do as a child was make it worse by outing my abuser.  I clung to the tiny bit of normalcy and security I had; I was terrified of losing everything if I rocked the boat.  It is not my fault if my abuser abused someone else because of that.  It is only his fault, only his responsibility.  [/quote]

Thank you for posting that and I completely agree. The previous poster saying what a burden the cousin has placed on OP since she told but doesn't want to tell her mom - what a horrible, irresponsible thing to say PP. This brave person has come forward and protected another child. The awkwardness that creates for the aunt & OP is not the cousin's fault. It's ridiculous that you would focus on that of all things. A victim is not obliged to tell her horror stories over and over again; she is not the one who did anything wrong and she is not the one who owes the world anything in return. It is the abuser who owes the world his time in jail. He is the one who did something wrong and all the relationships his behavior destroys is his fault and his alone. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics