Reply to Advice - Friends trying to discipline my ASD child

Forum Index » Kids With Special Needs and Disabilities

Reply to "Advice - Friends trying to discipline my ASD child"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]My two cents:

1) Sorry you are conflict-averse.  But sometimes protecting your child means sucking it up and doing things that are uncomfortable.  This is such a case.

2) There are two issues here; one is your child being subjected to disciplinary methods that might not be appropriate for them, the other is other parents intervening without telling you.

3) Normally I would agree you don't need to explain or justify, just decide and take action.  However in this case I do think some explanation might help you because you need to deal with both issues.

4) Re the principle of the other parents intervening without your consent, you need to be clear with them that they are never to do this again or else you will not allow your child to be with them unattended by you.

5) I do recommend explaining to them that this is important first because it's not their place to be disciplining your child, but also because they are exhibiting the misconception that the disciplinary methods that work for NT kids automatically work with spectrum kids.  Yes, we're for accountability, but there are cognitive issues in play here.  What sometimes looks to other people like defiance or deliberate misbehavior is often rooted in confusion, and requires instruction rather than punishment.  They are assuming that they know what your child needs because they have parented other kids whose brains work in different ways. That assumption is incorrect, and if they are to fully understand your decision they need to understand that.  If they want to take a ton of time to educate themselves about these issues and offer you advice based on that, that's one thing, a little presumptuous but not damaging. But for them to take action that affects your child when they don't know what they're doing is way over the line.

6) If, presented with this information, they argue with you, then you can cut immediately to keeping your child away from them.  Advise them that as much as you would like their company, you have a responsibility to guide your child's development and that includes employing methods that reflect some understanding of their development and thought processes.   NT kids can handle different balances of positive/negative reinforcement.  Simply engaging in social transactions is huge work for spectrum kids, and they need a much higher ratio of positive to negative reinforcement if they are to develop their engagement.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics