Reply to Talking to DD about classmate with Downs Syndrome

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think you need to do two things.

You need to talk to your child about mean girl behavior in general.  Imitating people isn't nice.  It isn't a matter of this child having DS.  We don't mimic people.  We don't talk about their behavior.  We don't laugh at their conduct.

And you need to have a word with the teacher about how this child is being treated.

If you want to talk to your child about disability, I recommend saying something like "Your body is strong.  Not everyone has a strong body like you.  Some people use wheelchairs.  Some people like Teddy have Down Syndrome.  Some people are weak and need your help.  What are some ways that you can be helpful to people who need your help?"[/quote]

It's great that you're thinking of this, but please don't use "weak" in relation to people with disabilities and don't imply that people without visible disabilities are "strong." I would much rather take an "everyone is different" approach, without introducing terms of value and judgment.[/quote]

I think that your point about weak is valid.  But you are missing the point.  The point is not that people with disabilities are weak and people without are strong.  The point is to say that this kindergartner has a strong body.  That kid.  And to empower her to care for others and watch over them, not be mean.  Also, I find the "everyone is different" approach to be confusing and demeaning to young children.  They know that people with disabilities are not just "different" like blue eyed and brown eyed people.  It's silly to pretend.[/quote]

[b]Okay. I'd just like to let you know that I have been a professional in this area for many years,  including as a professor and a board member for disability rights organizations, and what you've written here is a good example of the kind of ignorance prejudice that the disability rights community finds troubling.[/quote]

Thank you for this comment. I am floored by The discrimination and stigma that seems to underpin this advice. [/b][/quote]

I'm confused. Which part is ignorant and discriminatory? NP here. Calling somebody weak is bad. But telling a child that she has a strong body (and mind) and to use that body and mind to help others sounds empowering to me. I also agree with PP's second point about pretending a child with DS's differences are no different than hair color or eye color. Kids aren't that dumb. [/quote]

The disability right movement is modeled on the civil rights movement. Try using that lens to view some of these comments. [/quote]

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