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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This situation is very plausible. My brother has SN and my parents started the process to find him a group home when they were in their 50s. It took about 5 years to find a good one for him, and he loves it.

However, I go with him sometimes to SPRED (Special Religious Ed -- Sunday school for SN basically) at a nearby church and it was astounding to see the number of SN children in their 30s and 40s where the parent was quite old, and basically not interested in finding a placement for their child. I dont' know if it's unwillingness to let go, or don't want to face their own mortality, or don't want to think they're not needed. Who knows, maybe they're just too busy for this. But by all means, these cases are not rare and it's unfortunate. I think my father even tried to gently approach the topic with some parents there while socializing, but I don't think it went well.

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I'll tell you why they haven't placed their adult child. They are afraid of them being neglected or abused. I have a nonverbal autistic daughter who is as innocent and trusting as a child. When she was in school, we had a one-on-one with her because one day in kinder, she almost wandered onto a highway because the aides were too busy gabbing to watch and engage the children.  She would be easy to take advantage of, despite years of trying to teach her otherwise. She also requires a regimen of daily medication and must be watched for signs of asthma and given nebulizer treatments. She also is prone to self-injury so any increase in such behaviors must be addressed immediately or they will escalate and last for months, resulting in significant injury/infection, more medication, behavioral intervention and constant supervision while awake by a trained adult. What group home is going to do this?  Sure, we all know that preparations need to be made but, realistically, our children's health and well-being are going to suffer when we're unable to care for them because we have seen it when they are under the care of others. [/quote]

I was about to say the same. I have a family member who has mobility issues and failing health. His caregiver, another family member, is terrified of what it will mean for him to be somewhere else and cared for by staff. It's a huge emotional hurdle.[/quote]

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