Reply to S/O Need comeback for recurring FIL comment

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am 4 years older than my DH.  We've been married for 16 years, 2 kids, all is well on that front.  Our age difference has not been an issue, in fact people usually take me for the younger one.

We see my ILs 2-3 times a year.  My FIL often makes the comment that DH is a "child bridegroom" or that I "robbed the cradle".  How can I respond to this?

Sometimes it doesn't bother me that much, but if FIL has been particularly annoying that visit then it does bother me.  He's the type that needles others, brings up old embarrassing things to tease family members about over and over, in general he has kind of a jerky sense of humor.  I'm terrible at shutting it down.

He teases MIL about her mechanical incompetance and I was gratified to see her stick up for herself on our last visit last week, when she said, "how come you get to tease me all day long and laugh, but when I tease you, you get all mad and huffy?"  He doesn't like to be "disrespected". He can dish it out but he can't take it.

On the most recent visit my DH asked him calmly to slow down and stop tailgating people.  He was super offended, sulked and then brought it up at dinner to defend his driving.  He had been stewing about it all day long I guess.

Can you tell my FIL is not my favorite person?[/quote]

I'd handle it in two steps.

First, your husband needs to have a serious private conversation with him. It looks like your FIL is the kind of man who'd mind more if it were another man laying down the law.

If it continues, step B would look like this:

"You robbed the cradle"

"John, that's an inappropriate, hurtful comment. Stop saying that or [insert a consequence you thought in advance, agreed upon with your husband, and can actually enforce]". Then follow through. No matter what it is. Your FIL is a bully and bullies can smell an empty threat a mile away, but they tuck their tail between their legs when faced with a real consequence.

I'm sorry you have to deal with such a rude man.[/quote]

No real person would ever say this to an inlaw.  [/quote]

I'm the poster you're quoting, I'm real and you can bet your last cent that I'd say that to an inlaw or anyone. I stopped putting up with rudeness a long time ago. Life is too short for that shit.[/quote]

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