Reply to I'm an ugly woman. AMA.

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[quote=Anonymous]Hi OP, another ugly woman here. :)  The acne, the weight, the big nose, plus really asymmetrical features and a big gap between my front teeth due to an accident as a kid.  I get it. :) You sound like you have  substantially more confidence  in general than I did growing up and at your age (I'm a bit older, mid-30s), and you're definitely much less overweight than I was.  Do you feel self-conscious when you're out and about, especially  in the types of situations in which men and women are looking at each other as potential romantic/sexual partners?  Do you think you project confidence to others?  Do you feel comfort in your own skin?

I did not, and that really didn't change for me until I lost weight.  I always felt like I stuck out for all the wrong reasons, when all I wanted to do was blend in.  When I lost the weight I felt like I looked much more like others around me (still ugly, but I didn't stand out for being overweight), and that had a big impact on how I felt about myself - far less self-conscious.  I think being able to let go of that constant self-awareness has made me more approachable in general (not just in a romantic sense, but in my professional life as well).

Again, you're not anywhere close to being as overweight as I was, so it may not be as much of an issue for you interms of how you perceive yourself and the messages you're giving to others.  But for me, losing the weight had a huge impact.

For what it's worth, I'm married.  To a man I met (and married) long before I lost the weight.  He's wonderful, and he tells me all the time that I'm beautiful - which I'm not, by ANY objective standard, but he seems to sincerely believe I am.  I think it's because his love for me, and his knowledge of me, goes much deeper than my outward appearance.  And thus what he sees when he looks at me is all of me.  There IS someone out there who will appreciate you, too.  We may be unattractive on the outside to many (though not all!), but we're so much more than just how we look.[/quote]

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