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Reply to "Brother proactively told me that my kids are not his favorite nieces - do I need to change anything?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here, thanks for the thoughtful and helpful replies. I think I will keep an eye and supervise his interactions with them for the time being. Calling him out in the moment for being a rude jerk is something I'll think more about. I kind of feel like that's not my place and my parents have taken a firm stance that it's not their responsibility either, so I would be shaking up the status quo quite a bit if I didn't let stuff like that slide. So, if I can figure out a way to do it without making everyone else miserable, I'll give it a try. [/quote]

OP, your parents are abdicating their responsibility.  I have a BIL who has been degenerating into progressively worse alcoholism for three years.  My MIL and FIL, whom I love and care for deeply, have been in major denial.  It all came to a head a week ago at a family function when, after BIL had made an ass of himself all night and left, they finally admitted there was a problem - but then, promptly began to make excuses.  I called them on that.  Just because your children are adults does not mean you no longer have a role in their life, if they are behaving stupidly - which your brother surely is.  If your parents aren't going to step up and call him out for being an ass, then you certainly should.  Otherwise people like him get the idea that their behavior is perfectly acceptable.  In my case, I have consistently been the one who calmly and matter of factly calls BIL out every time he goes off the rails.  I grew up with an alcoholic parent and I will not abide that bullshit - especially in front of my kids.  I love BIL and want him to get well, but in the meantime his addiction isn't an excuse to treat people like crap.[/quote]

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