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[quote=Anonymous]New to this thread and this was our situation 3 years ago when DS was in 6th grade.  Not only meltdowns but lying and cheating.  We tried everything PPs have mentioned.  Looking back, here's what helped the most: 1. both parents commit to staying calm and not reacting to the tantrums (this was really easier for one of us than the other); at a calm time we explained that if he lost it we would say 'please come back when you're ready to talk without raising your voice' and he agreed to abide by that.  2.  we jointly agreed that he would show us his assignment book every week night in order to earn 3 hours screentime on Saturday and on Sunday (none on weekdays)  BUT (and this was key) we would not react negatively to what we saw in the assignment book.  3. something that he really wanted would be his if he averaged all As and Bs for the year.  It took 3 years but he got there, for him it was a smartphone. (The lying/cheating on assignments did not pay off for such a long term reward.)  4. over the course of each year we met once with each subject teacher, and let the kid lead the conversation with the teacher about how things were going. No judgments.  5. we stopped asking him questions that put him on the spot so no more need for lying. 6. we left everything else to him.  Which was very stressful sometimes.
He's now MUCH more confident than he was.  Of course time helps a lot.  Good luck, it is sooo difficult.[/quote]

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