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[quote=Anonymous]OP here...to all who offered caring advice and words of encouragement....thank you. To all who could only offer criticism and doubt...why did you even bother to respond? Fortunately for me, I am in such a bad place that your cruelty doesn't even phase me, but there may be others who come to this forum seeking support with a similar problem and those same words/sentiments might have damaging effects...please tread cautiously.

Its a whole new day and I'm still so shaken. I spent the night in my child's bedroom, sobbing and afraid with the door locked. This incident took place in the middle of the night, I didn't want to call my parents and involve them, I didn't want to call my friends and disturb them, but I did want to call the police.

I really, really, wanted to call the police, but I didn't for many reasons...our kids were sleep and didn't witness this and involving the police would have made them aware and upset, the police at our home in our quiet neighborhood in the wee hours of the morning would be very obvious, embarrassing and awkward (for me and for our kids with their friends finding out), having him get arrested and removed--even for the short-term means that he's no longer able to help with parenting duties of our 3 small kids such as school drop off/pick up, therapies, pm routine (which I need him for as I have no back-up right now), having him arrested and removed would also jeopardize his job for obvious reasons AND my job too as I would have to take off work to get the kids to/from school (i don't have the type of job where I can get there late or leave early..if I cant be there at 630 then i have to call out for the entire day). So having him arrested would automatically shift all the responsibility of our family to my shoulders alone and in the midst of this upsetting chaos I didn't think I could make it work.

I called his mother because I thought she would be able to calm him down. He hadn't hit me at that point, but he was making very disturbing threats (I'll F*** you up, I'm going to put your head thru the wall, if you don't go sleep in another room I'll choke you). Although these were just words, his tone and body language were very intimidating and I wanted to de-escalate the situation. He has a good relationship with his mother and he doesn't like to disappoint her so I thought it a good idea to call her first. When I went to call her, he hit me and the phone fell. I was able to call her a bit later and she was upset, but supportive of me and totally on my side. She did say she would call him (I was in another room by this point) and talk some sense into him and I'm assuming she did because things were quiet the remainder of the night.

When I got up I felt disgusted, humiliated and so angry. The only thing I said to him this morning was that he should arrange alternate living arrangements for himself for the time being because he couldn't stay in our house. His response was "this is our house, so where else would I stay?" I told him I didn't care where he went because I just didn't want to be in the house with a fear of being hit. He said he didn't really hit me, but he hit my hand which caused the phone to hit my face :shock:  He def did hit me in the face, but even if he hadn't, his verbal abuse was just as bad. Luckily, I was not needed at work so I had the day off and was able to do school drop-off/pick up and look for a new place to live. I also filed for a protective order. I came to dcum last night because I was emotional and confused and needed some direction to help me stabilize...i'm so grateful for all who offered support and advice and helped me gain footing. The experiences of abuse that were posted were especially helpful as I noticed some of the same patterns in our relationship...thanks to all that shared.

I'm hoping to have a workable plan in place in the next week or so...keeping my fingers crossed that nothing else happens before then.
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