Reply to DH taking over many of my roles...but...

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[quote=Anonymous]I think you should relax your standards.  Look, some people are just messier than others and don't mind it.  I'm one of those people and like your husband, I did not really choose to be the parent who does the bulk of the housework and childcare but I've made professional sacrifices for my husband and my family.  My DH is super clean, but we had many 'talks' the first year of this arrangement about his expectations and where I thought he could put his expectations.  :) I'm way cleaner than I used to be but I'll never be as neat as he wants me to be.  He does a ton when he's home from work and doesn't say a word anymore except will sometimes bring in a cleaning service to do the bathrooms and kitchen.

All that said, bugs are a whole different level.  I think it is kind of understood that leaving food out for an extended period is not a good idea and you would be right to ask him to at least clean up food and crumbs.

How recent is this arrangement?  It takes awhile to get a method for taking care of the house and kids, especially if he wasn't responsible for it before.  Maybe he's exhausted after making dinner and getting the kids ready for bed and needs a break before cleaning the kitchen.  So, yeah, maybe you should pitch in.  And if you just 'can't' and have no $ for a house cleaner, you need to learn to let it go.[/quote]

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