Reply to Does your spouse have a best friend who is of the opposite sex?

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[quote=Anonymous]I wasn't going to get into this either because these conversations devolve into paranoid snakepits pretty much instantly.

I am close friends with my spouse. We are lovers. We have a child together. We are each other's unofficial strategic consultants about professional decisions. We have similar interests (though not 100% aligned) and enjoy each other's company.

However, I also have a best friend. I've known this person since I was 17 years old. We were romantically entangled when we were about 19, but we established pretty quickly that no romantic relationship was of interest to either one of us and moved on. We have, since then, had multiple relationships with other people. We chat online almost every work day and stay at each other's houses when we visit each other's cities. My best friend knows my spouse and they like each other. This is a person I have known for half my life, who I have confided in about important life events, who I value as a friend. I would never jeopardize the friendship by pursuing a romantic relationship with this person.

You'll note that I've said "this person" rather than indicate a gender. I've done that deliberately, because I do not believe that gender is what is important in this debate. It is about trust and security in your relationships - platonic and romantic. I really don't know where you "friendships with opposite sex not possible because SEX" people draw the line. If your spouse is going to cheat on you, it hardly matter whether it's someone your spouse has known for half their lives or someone they met five minutes ago, whether you're married to a man or a woman.[/quote]

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