Reply to growing up in a house with a lot of yelling

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I grew up in a yelling household and I don't really mind it.  (?)  Shrug.  I am kind of a yeller too and don't really rein myself in, b/c I don't really feel I was that affected by it on the other end, when I was a child?

It bothers me MORE when people do NOT get their emotions out and just keep a situation bottled in.  I think it's better to deal with a situation, get over it, and move on.  It bothers me in my DH's family when everyone is passive-aggressive and never raises an issue directly.  But it's absolutely there, and everyone knows it, and for the life of me, I cannot figure out the dynamic where no one will do anything about it.   It REALLY makes me uncomfortable.  I feel like I walk around keeping my lips closed and I feel words just ready to spill out of my mouth, b/c I am soo unused to this dynamic.[/quote]

OP here again. I agree with you, but in my case, I went through a period where I had trouble with conflicts and always felt like I did something wrong. Even having a boss say he or she needed to talk to me caused a sense of dread because I always felt I was wrong and the cause of something awful (back to the we only do this because you didn't do XYZ and we care so much about you, if you'd only do XYZ...)

I always felt like my parents were passive-aggressive with the people they really needed to fight hard with and[b] reserved the real emotion-- the yelling and berating-- for the kids, the ones who couldn't walk away or fire them.[/b] [/quote]

This is why it's abuse. They were taking out their rage on you because they couldn't get away with it with anyone else and you were smaller and weaker and couldn't get away, not because you deserved it.[/quote]

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