Reply to phantom allergy: what to say

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here.  To address some of the questions...I don't know how the mom had the epi-pen if the kid is not allergic because I am fortunate enough not to have to deal with allergies in my house (we have plenty of other challenges) so I just don't know the ins-and-outs and was going on what I was told.  This is a relatively new friendship for my child and for me as we are new to the area.  As for the PB, I put it on the top shelf in the pantry to make sure make sure my other kids didn't get at it while he was here (that was my big worry because they like to dip carrots in it). My understanding was (from the mom) that the kid had a clear idea of what he could and could not have. My 9 year old often forages through the pantry getting snacks and I don't have a problem with that.  However we have had a discussion about him letting his friend eat a banned product without telling me instantly as I had explained that his friend should not eat nuts.  But that's another issue.

Not to sound defensive but I note that in response to the pp who said I should have better supervision...you may be right but I rarely still track my 9 year old around.  The reason why I didn't say anything to the mom (and for the record but DH said I should have immediately done so) was that I got a strong feeling from the kid that he DID know what he could eat and was fine with nuts but his mom wasn't.  I felt really sad for him when he sort of intimated that it was a parental issue (mom) and emphasized that he was allowed nuts when with his dad and never got sick.  Having read some of the posts I don't think I did the right thing. I followed my heart in this instance instead of my head as the kid seemed sad and nervous when trying to persuade me not to call his mom.  Otherwise he was in excellent form.  Problem is that having said nothing at the time, I certainly cannot say anything now.  Interestingly we're due to meet the dad at a game soon.  Obviously I have NO intention of saying anything to him but I'll be intrigued to see if he says anything to me.  And in this instance I stand corrected.  DH wins.  I should have called mom.     [/quote]

What a horrid father to give his kid nuts behind the mother's back.

I don't understand why anyone would think this mother is a loon for this situation. I would assume there is a lot we don't know -- like maybe the mom has experienced her kid going through anaphylaxis in the past and has no desire to "test" peanuts. I can certainly understand that.

Again, what a HORRID father for giving his kid nuts during his time with his child, behind the mother's back. Gross behavior, not only for doing it behind her back but for obviously teaching his own kid to lie to his mother. Really foul behavior.[/quote]

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