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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, you're an adult. Can't you just deal with having someone in your life who makes comments that annoy you? I don't understand how that is "toxic" especially if you don't give a crap about the issues, which you seem to be saying. It takes all kinds of people to make the world go around, even ones who judge cookie eating. How does that threaten you?[/quote]

I hear you, PP.  If it were just an occasional comment, or a benign observation that we're different, it would be easy to overlook.  What bothers me [b]is feeling like I have to justify my decisions,[/b] regularly, just because she's so, um, "forward" about her opinions.  ;-)  If it were just her, I would probably cut her loose.  But, as I mentioned, she's part of a combo pack with someone I really like, and it would be incredibly difficult to keep one but ditch the other.

I'm grateful people suggested confronting her. I agree that there probably isn't an easier way to get the microaggressions to stop.  I'm no fan of confrontation, but if it would help me save my friendship with "friend 2", I'll try it.

And no, this isn't really about vegetables.  I didn't want to risk her recognizing the post, because that would be crummy for all involved.  :-)[/quote]

But the thing is, you do not! Really! You do not!  You only feel that because you allow yourself to engage with her, as if her approval of anything you do is necessary.  You have to practice the attitude of dismissing what she says. For example:

"Jane, I think the carrots Aiden is eating aren't organic."

"Nope, probably not."

"How can you give your kids non-organic things? They are so bad for them!"

"Yep, they probably are." Continue feeding kids.

"How can you do this to your children?"

"I just do." And continue doing what you're doing.

"This cartoon character is eating cookies! That's terrible!"

"Yep. Probably is." And continue watching.

Basically, don't argue with her and continue doing what you're doing until she feels stupid, which she will if all her tirades fall on deaf ears.  STOP acting like her approval is necessary. [/quote]

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