Reply to Toxic "friend" always judging

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[quote=Anonymous]Whether or not she can be reined in to a level you can live with is something only you can judge, but my advice would be to gather your strength for a pretty direct conversation (hopefully a brief one) and then practice a set of responses that will shut things down.

So sit down with her when you have a quiet moment and tell her something like:  "Jane, you know that i have great respect for your lifestyle and your choices.  And I know you care deeply about these things.  As you also now, I make some different choices than you do and I'm asking you to respect my choices as I do yours.  I don't make the same decisions re foods, or free time (or whatever).  My choices are based on what I feel is best for my family, and what is feasible for us.  When you make comments about my choices I feel criticized and judged.  So I understand if you disagree with my choices, but I would prefer you not comment on those things unless I ask your opinion.  I'd really like to be able to enjoy your company.  Ok?"

Then practice (as someone else suggested) breezy versions of comments like:

- I think they'll live.
- different strokes for different folks
- Thanks but I have it covered (and immediately changing the subject)

And then be prepared to have to say:

- Jane, I know you disagree but this is my house.
- If you're not able to respect what I do in my house you don't have to be here.  I'm really not interested in your opinion on this.[/quote]

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