Reply to Desperately lonely with my excellent house-husband

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Kind of a gender role reversal, but this dynamic is not at all uncommon with the woman neglecting her husband due to all of the housework that "has" to be done.

Good luck breaking that cycle. [/quote]

This isn't at all similar to that. He is creating work and projects for himself to avoid her, the podcasts are also pure avoidance. He's unhappy with something, or has energy to burn...but he is not driven by a sense of responsibility to the household here. What a strange dynamic. OP, he may take great care of the house and his job and child but he's not taking good care of his marriage. That is a 100% legit way for you to feel. What if you scheduled a family therapy session and had a chance to say this all to him in front of a counselor? Could you get him there, and would it help him express what's truly going on?[/quote]

I think it's very similar. I don't know that we can conclude he's not motivated by a sense of responsibility to the household. New mothers often feel like the kid "needs" a lot more than he or she actually does and that the house needs more than it actually does. And, because they're satisfying these self-imposed burdens in the name of "responsibility to the family," they often neglect their marriages. Don't want to interact with their husbands because they're "all touched out" or "need some me time."

Looks like that's very similar to what OP's husband is doing. He's doing things which, on their surface, are for the family - but, because they are above and beyond what's actually necessary, show a certain kind of selfishness. (E.g. are the baby sign language classes because the kid actually needs them or because new mom wants to have bragging rights in her mom circles? Is the organic baby food actually necessary for the child to be healthy or is OP's husband looking to show off / avoid his wife?) Is the "me time" / podcast time reasonable in light of the declining connection between husband & wife?

I think they are similar situations and OP's husband has his priorities out of whack. He needs to dial down his roles as father / podcast enthusiast and dial up his role as husband. [/quote]

Yes but they don't have headphones on all day long. That to me is by far the weirdest part.

OP what are these podcasts about?[/quote]

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