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[quote=Anonymous]OP here,

Thank you for all the thoughtful responses. I do agree we need to go to counseling, but that was already a decision made prior to this and unrelated to money, and mostly unrelated to his success. I think it would help greatly if my perception on roles, drive, responsibilities were different but that is obviously something I can't change over night. I do hold a lot of value in success and maybe I find my own identity to be highly intertwined with it, and so think he should to.

The issue with my career is we have had problems prior to money, and I just don't see it getting easier when I am now not going to be around. If you were in my position I think you would fear divorce too. Maybe it is that he wants to stay at home, and I just need to get my head wrapped around that.
The correlation of my career getting more concrete and his lessening motivation does seem valid. I guess I'm looking at it more from the perspective that he could have chosen the path to 3-400k.

To the other PP, in my heart I would hate to just have weekends with my kids, and I know he is in a better position to be around more than I am. And if I were a judge it would be a no-brainer to me to give my DH the kids. So I have that fact in the back of my head.

The decisions of gifts SHOULD. Be made together, but I doubt I'm in a position to say no. I mean look at the attitudes on here already, it will force it into a my money situation if he keeps pressing for some of the things he is presently. It's not even a conversation it's a "First, I'm going to do is get this for my dad, get this for this person, take this person here, give the person that". I, just smile and listen, haven't spoke up about it because I don't want to have it blow up into a big argument.

And no, I am not a dancer ha! 
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