Reply to Becoming wealthy after marriage

Forum Index » Money and Finances

Reply to "Becoming wealthy after marriage "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]To avoid a long quote.

My job does not require any travel. And the move was during the education part in which he chose a school based upon where I had to go.

To the PP about the sacrifices I'm probably not noticing. I have no doubt that we are able to get through the day because of things he does. As I said, most of the reason abilities with the children are shared, I couldn't do all of them by myself for sure. The sacrifices he WILL have to make from now on will be very significant, as the real hours are about to become a reality.

About him being a SAHD, in theory I would mind as it will help with logistics and the kids. However, from a romantic stand point, I don't know what it will do to my perception of my DH. This ambition thing has already been challenging, I fear that would be far worse.

Worst case scenario: my work hours are too hard, if he is having some mood disorders now it will only worsen, I won't be around to nurture our relationship. What position does that put me in with the children, with assests and having to support him?

Should I be trying to avoid divorce at all costs from a financial standpoint?

Not worse scenario: Everything we have has been shared, am I in a position to have "my" money and "his" being separate? Is he allowed, legally that is, to use whatever he pleases as ours?[/quote]

You both need counseling.  Marriage and depression for your DH and for you marriage and 1) To deal with the new wealth- both of you have created (it isn't just you). 2) To deal with the antiquated ideas of who should be the provider and who should be the care giver.  A family works together to make things work- money is just part of it.  3) To help you see yourself in a partnership with your DH where each does different things toward that partnership.  4) To realize how fortunate you have it and acknowledge the luck you have received in addition to your hard work.  There are many people out there who have done the exact same thing you have done but do not have a $750; job to show for it- or even a $100k job.  5)To realize that money isn't everything or necessarily the end goal of life. - This is where you growing up poor has impacted your perception- you will also have to have counseling when your children seem to not appreciate their wealth as much as you think they should.  Money does not buy happiness.  It makes things easier- for sure- but we all have the same issues- rich or poor- and our issue travel with us as a go from place to place.

Your children deserve it (the counseling for you and your DH).  Family comes first.  Then career.  You can have this high end career, but you need to recognize the work it takes from your DH to support you so you can do it.  (The first place will be to recognizes the sacrifices he has already made to move to the town so you could go to school....)

Good luck, this will be a hard transition.  I think it will go more smoothly if you let go of "what should be" and embrace "what is".  [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics