Reply to Is it really a good idea to divorce over non-help with chores? Or should I just let it go?

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Reply to "Is it really a good idea to divorce over non-help with chores? Or should I just let it go?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Trading a blow job for cleaning? That's an unhealthy dynamic. Give blowjobs and have sex. Or don't. But don't make them transactional. [/quote]

Totally agree. There's something fundamentally wrong with your marriage if it's come to this, no pun intended.

Healthy couples don't make deals like this. Support, cooperation and mutual agreements are the foundation of a healthy relationship. Without that, you ain't got much.

OP, it sounds like you need to get into therapy. You need a housekeeper, and your DH has to pay for one if he refuses to clean up the house. I see no reason for lowering your cleanliness standards (dog pee on the bathroom floor!), but if your DH won't help, you need outside help. Don't do it all yourself. That's a recipe for burnout.

You need a better relationship with your DH. You can't be expected to clean up for his family.

In this case, leave the mess. When the ILs arrive, tell them it's dirty because DH was supposed to do it, but he didn't. Say it with a straight face, no anger, just description.

And don't clean up anything, except maybe the dog pee, unless it's evaporated. Let the bathroom stink. If your DH is embarrassed enough, he'll clean it, or one of his family members will comment to him, and he'll feel embarrassed.

In any case, find some therapy so you can work out a more equal arrangement and don't make deals like sex for housekeeping! That's a really dysfunctional behavior. [/quote]

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