Reply to 7 yr relationship, no ring yet

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Reply to "7 yr relationship, no ring yet - am I wasting my time?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Quit worrying about what other people do or think.

You said he is a nerd.  You said he wants to wait until he makes more money.  You said he wants to eventually marry you.

You know exactly why he hasn't asked you.

Why the rush?[/quote]

7 years isn't exactly a [i]rush[/i].

OP, I hope that you have career goals of your own and it's not just waiting for marriage.  If this guy is as nerdy as you describe he may have trouble moving on/intimacy.  My BF and I lived together for a while; we did couples counseling.  In his case it was more a reluctance b/c of issues of divorce/poor marriages in his family.

Basically, the person who wants less in a relationship "wins" in a sense b/c your BF is satisfied with the status quo.  If this is someone you truly love and not just someone who represents the hope of marriage b/c you've invested so much time in him, then have a frank conversation.

Plenty of people marry when they are in grad school or haven't made it "big."  He needs to know that you are willing to wait around indefinitely--a deadline might be in order.  He will either step or not.  Then you know what you need to do.

Define your career goals, personal interests, friendships now whether or not you marry him or anyone else.  Don't loose yourself in a relationship.[/quote]

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