Reply to disliking in-laws who aren't all that dislike-able

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This doesn't sound like a "bigger person" situation, because it doesn't sound like they're doing anything wrong.  It sounds like this is more about your own rigidity and need for control, which is something you have to work on in yourself.[/quote]

OP, here. Yes, I think this is mostly right. I mean, they do things and have habits that are pretty objectively irritating BUT I think that's true for almost all of us (including me) and overall they are good people. I should be able to ignore my MIL telling our neighbors very personal details about my life (and my kids' lives) because she has to talk to everyone about everything etc. but I get red in the face when I hear her doing it or hear that she's done it.

Do you have suggestions for working on myself? I AM rigid. Probably a bit controlling too but I try and save it for things related to my kids that I actually think impact their well being and health. And I can act differently (i.e., let my MIL yap to neighbors and refrain from giving her an outright evil eye) but inside I simmer.[/quote]

My relationship with my in-laws is very similar.  They're actually quite lovely, go out of their way to help us (and me, specifically) quite frequently, and absolutely adore my husband and our kids.  I also make it a priority to facilitate time with our kids, do nice things for them, etc.  But our personalities just don't mesh and they drive me up the wall.  Like yours, my MIL overshares all sorts of personal details, so we just don't share details about ourselves or our kids anymore.  And if I have to hear my MIL talk in a sickly-sweet baby voice to my 4 yo just one more time.... "you just love coloring, don't you?" or "you helped with dinner, didn't you?" or "you sang the whole song, didn't you?" UGH.  I just walk away.  I really believe it's good for kids to have different experiences with different adults, to realize everyone has their own ways of doing things, and that my ways are just that--mine, but not necessarily objectively better.  MIL is currently in the middle of a 2-week visit, so I've been repeating these mantras frequently.  [/quote]

It doesn't sound to me like your MIL is doing anything wrong.  The problem is that she is there for 2 weeks.  My ILs are coming this fall for 1 week and I am already dreading the hell out of it.[/quote]

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