Reply to disliking in-laws who aren't all that dislike-able

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, with an IL relationship like you described, the first year of parenthood is hard. And special needs twins?  Extra hard.  If the ILs no matter how well meaning translate to extra stress for you, don't beat yourself help.

A few tips:
--Let DH do most communication, photo sending, etc
--When they visit, go to bed an hour early.read or zone out.
--Be the one to run any necessary errands (oh, we are out of x ... Wouldn't it be nice to have some y)
--Or even go take a break: "I am so glad you are here. You can give DH a hand and have some one on one time with him in the kids so I can finally get a hair cut (or whatever). Oh, what a great thing you are here to help me do this."
--Unapologetically follow your child's routine, and proactively tell them what nap time and bed time tend to be before any visit to your home or theirs. Also give them a heads up of what they are or aren't eating, etc. Give them a chance to adjust expectations BEFORE you are in the moment.

Deep breaths. My MIL is only tolerable in small doses. She feels like she can live everybody else's lives better than they can. I do not open up to her about my life at all unless what I am saying is 100% positive. Learned that lesson the hard way.  She is thoughtless and dismissive when it comes to other people's issues.  She is also generous with time and creative gifts for our kid and doesn't complain (much) about how much time they get with us. She respects our feeding choices. She is good in many ways except one on one conversation, which I try to avoid.
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