Reply to disliking in-laws who aren't all that dislike-able

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, if your kids are both under 1 then you're in the toughest time period right now.  Things will get better as your kids sleep better and can skip or delay a nap without melting down, or when they're eating all kinds of food or whatever.  They'll get easier and that will hopefully make you more relaxed.
Removing yourself from the situation when you're starting to get upset will definitely help.  I am lucky to have a great relationship with my ILs but they started annoying me a bit since the kids came along.  I spoke openly with my MIL about it, saying that I'm getting more particular and easily annoyed these days (just in general, not saying it had to do with them).  She picked up on it right away and asked if there was anything they could do differently.  I told her a few things (put your plates/bowls in the dishwasher instead of the sink, put the milk back in the fridge after cereal, put your bag in the guest room, help me keep x area clean because it helps me stay more sane, or whatever specific thing that's small but would make a difference to you).  Not sure if you feel like you can say something like that to your ILs, it really helped me.
And then just deep breaths in the moments when they are bugging you most.
Good luck![/quote]

This is good to hear. Eating is a big issue. Both babies are under weight and get very easily distracted at bottle time. Or I get uncomfortable being watched like a hawk as I'm trying to coax an arching antsy baby to have just one more ounce. I am sure my anxiety about that issue alone is getting displaced onto them. Sometimes I do just pick up a baby and move to another room but then I feel badly because I know it comes off wrong.

I do think there is room for some conversation. And my DH helps tackle the really obvious things. And some of the things I'll just have to accept. They aren't going to stop drinking (not that they should but I do wish they'd stop drinking too much day in day out) so talking about it would just hurt feelings. But I can pick a few things to request and they might even appreciate feeling like they were doing things in a special way to help.[/quote]

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