Reply to disliking in-laws who aren't all that dislike-able

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Am I the only one who thinks OP is just trying to find a way to let us know her inlaws actually suck (for example, by talking to the neighbors about personal issues) without getting any negative feedback on here at all? She is all 
"I'm so terrible, I'm horrible" and everyone is like "oh you are so great to acknowledge your weaknesses".  BARF.

OP just tell us the truth about your inlaws.  it's dcum.  If you want a 100 percent reasonable response where you don't get ripped a new a-hole tell it your therapist instead.[/quote]

I'm the OP.

A therapist might be helpful but right now I don't have the time or the money. So, I was hoping that even if a couple people wanted to swing by for some new butt hole tearing (and thank you for that, who doesn't love some pre coffee flagellation), I'd get some good advice on HOW to focus on the good over the bad. If my plan was to tell DCUM that my inlaws were terrible, I would have shared some very different details. There are plenty of stories but that's not the point (and I know my MIL would be able to tell her friends plenty of true stories that make me look like a bitch too.)

And this thread has been helpful so far. Nice to know others struggle. Nice to hear some different suggestions. I don't want my DH to take over everything when they come but I like the idea of letting him listen to them ramble/rant on after too many drinks while I excuse myself rather than feeling I need to be the polite sounding board. And it does make me feel better to hear it has gotten better for others with older kids. I never loved having them (mostly because we used to all cram in very small apartments for visits) but did have some fun with them before our babies were born. They are still less than a year old and have some special needs that make me want to protect them from getting upset/disrupted more than I might otherwise...so hopefully with time I'll naturally ease up.

I'm not particularly proud of my self-awareness. I tend to be pretty good at identifying my weaknesses and seeing where I play a role in less than optimal relationship dynamics. But I'm pretty bad about figuring out how to make lasting changes to be better. So, I'm not certainly not congratulating myself for realizing that I can be a real PITA sometimes. But I do think *I* would be happier, in addition to making them and my DH happier, if there were ways to react less to the bad stuff and see the good.[/quote]

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