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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'd send him a note with a photo. A la a birth announcement.

I would then let him make the next move.  [/quote]

I just did this on Friday.  I haven't spoken to my father in about 10 years, he cheated on my mom, they divorced after 34 years of marriage.  I have an eleven year old that he met one time when she was with my brother but I have a 9 month old that I don't think he knows about.  So this past Friday, I looked up his address on Google and sent him some pictures of both the kids and a note that just said "Here are some pictures of your grand kids, take care, My Name."  He doesn't know where I live, so I didn't put a return address.  That way I wouldn't expect a response.  I know if I put a return address and he didn't reach out I would be really upset and disappointed.

[/quote]

Just curious. Has your father been a bad father otherwise or did you cut him off because of what happened in his marriage to your mother. Just wondering if he was otherwise a bad father and that was the last straw or if his marriage alone was sufficient for you to end your relationship with him. [/quote]

He wasn't a bad father, but he wasn't a good one to me.  I felt as though he favored my brother and that he just didn't like me.  I was overweight most of my childhood and he really hated that.  He held my weight against me, so out of spite, I never lost the weight.  He kicked me out of the house at 18 because I stayed out all night one time. I lied a lot in high school and he used to punish me very harshly for it, so when I found out he was cheating on my mom, it was the last straw. I felt he was being the ultimate hypocrite.  He had been lying for years and years, yet he was beating my a$$ for lying about going to the movies with my friends.  So when he divorced my mom, it made it easy for me to walk away from him.  He has a daughter that I have never met, I do wonder about her sometimes.  He is still pretty cool with my brother and I think he talks with my nieces (but he is not close with them).  But I just don't want anything to do with him.  I have told my mom and husband, I don't want him at my funeral if I die before him. I know that's childish though.

I don't know why I sent him the photos.  I really don't.  Something inside me kept telling me to do it, so I did.  I hope I don't regret doing so.

[/quote]

Yikes. Keep that man out of your child's life, it will only do your kid good.

BTW, you didn't not lose the weight out of spite, you did not lose weight because weightloss is statistically impossible long term for 95% of people. And if you never engaged in dieting, good for you. Seriously. Dieting is the best predictor for future weight gain, and the yo-yo effect is way worse for your health that being fat.[/quote]

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