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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I'd send him a note with a photo. A la a birth announcement.

I would then let him make the next move.  [/quote]

I just did this on Friday.  I haven't spoken to my father in about 10 years, he cheated on my mom, they divorced after 34 years of marriage.  I have an eleven year old that he met one time when she was with my brother but I have a 9 month old that I don't think he knows about.  So this past Friday, I looked up his address on Google and sent him some pictures of both the kids and a note that just said "Here are some pictures of your grand kids, take care, My Name."  He doesn't know where I live, so I didn't put a return address.  That way I wouldn't expect a response.  I know if I put a return address and he didn't reach out I would be really upset and disappointed.

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Just curious. Has your father been a bad father otherwise or did you cut him off because of what happened in his marriage to your mother. Just wondering if he was otherwise a bad father and that was the last straw or if his marriage alone was sufficient for you to end your relationship with him. [/quote]

He wasn't a bad father, but he wasn't a good one to me.  I felt as though he favored my brother and that he just didn't like me.  I was overweight most of my childhood and he really hated that.  He held my weight against me, so out of spite, I never lost the weight.  He kicked me out of the house at 18 because I stayed out all night one time. I lied a lot in high school and he used to punish me very harshly for it, so when I found out he was cheating on my mom, it was the last straw. I felt he was being the ultimate hypocrite.  He had been lying for years and years, yet he was beating my a$$ for lying about going to the movies with my friends.  So when he divorced my mom, it made it easy for me to walk away from him.  He has a daughter that I have never met, I do wonder about her sometimes.  He is still pretty cool with my brother and I think he talks with my nieces (but he is not close with them).  But I just don't want anything to do with him.  I have told my mom and husband, I don't want him at my funeral if I die before him. I know that's childish though.

I don't know why I sent him the photos.  I really don't.  Something inside me kept telling me to do it, so I did.  I hope I don't regret doing so.

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