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[quote=Anonymous]OP here. We ended the trip early and came home yesterday. DH and I have had several discussions over it.  I do think he is on my side, but I am pretty adamant about ILs not bad mouthing me behind my back.  One detail I forgot to add is that my ILs are divorced but are still rather close, speak on the phone regularly.  My step MIL is very kind to me. One of my kids overheard my FIL speaking to my MIL on the phone re my lack of manners.  I do think I am a very polite person, perfect no but polite yes.  My step MIL and her daughter apparently came to my defense, with my SIL calling my FIL (her dad) a real jerk.

My grandmother had dementia, this doesn't seem to be the same here.

It shouldn't hurt my feelings but it does.  I should rise above it but it's hard.  I appreciate all the support and advice given.  I always thought I had pretty nice inlaws,but it seems the secret has now been exposed that they don't like me.   It is never my choice to visit them, but it don't say no because I want my kids to see their grandparents and my husband to see his family.  It just really sucked being there, feeling like my every move was over analyzedand criticized.

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