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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I try to be, but I know I'm not.  I don't do anything specifically crazy, but I feel it is my husband's responsibility to communicate with his relatives.  I'm sure they think I'm reserved, but I deal with my family and that keeps me pretty busy.[/quote]

This is me. I think it's his job to communicate with his family, and he does a crappy job, but I have my own family to deal with. [/quote]

Do you PPs like your in-laws? [b]Do you think you would be closer if they were different, or is it you?[/b][/quote]

In DCUM, the problem is always "them," never "me" (or you).[/quote]

I'm not sure why you see it as a "problem" not to be close?  Like many of the PPs, I'm respectful and kind to my in-laws, but I don't really have much in common with them beyond the superficial.  I see it as my responsibility to facilitate my husband's and children's relationships with them to the extent my husband wants those relationships (and puts in effort himself), but I don't feel any particular desire to have a closer relationship with my ILs myself.  I don't see that as a problem.  [/quote]

Same here. I posted earlier about trying. I get it, we have nothing in common, but I come from a warm family and dh comes from a cold family, so that compounds matters.  I noticed his mum scapegoats, which is pretty awful. Dh's sisters seem to have decided to accept me after 2 decades, so I guess that is progress. I get hurt when mil insists on not including me in the family pics, for example, but that says more about her than me. I think her own buddies see it, so that helps.

There is no pleasing some kinds of people. I think mil thinks she was wronged somewhere, well before I came along. And if she doesn't respect herself, I can't expect her to be respectful .[/quote]

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