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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Divorce. I could never be married to a man who fucked other women, even if sex life was dead. Rather be divorced. [/quote]

OP here.  I am pretty sure my wife would agree with you.

I am considering individual counselling to make sure this is really what I want.  I don't want to blow up the family home if I can avoid it.  Couples counselling seems pointless, no?  I can't imagine it is going to put DW in the mood if she is being told that her marriage depends on it.  I would rather masturbate than have sex with an unwilling spouse.

Thanks for all the valuable input.  [/quote]

Couple of thoughts for you:  one, do you understand what divorce entails in short and longterm for you & your kids?   Second, is your wife emotionally strong enough to cope - would you be leaving your kids with some hollowed out shell of a person?

I don't think divorce does not make sense sometimes, but I also think folks sometimes imagine they're going to find the rainbow and rarely do.   And you are consigning the kids to a lifetime of dual christmases, weird grandchild visits and all that stuff.    I don't think you should be unbearably happy, but I would check the boxes of both individual and couples therapy.

Sometimes I've felt like I've been their and my own marriage and then things improved.   So I've not walked in your shoes.  I wish you and your family luck.[/quote]

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