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Reply to "s/o Midline birth defects - am I to blame?"

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[quote=Anonymous]Many of you who have posted here are absolutely heartless.  How could you possibly stomach writing some of the nasty things you have put in this thread?  And to a worried new mother?  Shame on you!  Disgusting!

OP, I can relate to what you are going through.  I have a child who was born early and with health problems and I was absolutely convinced it was my fault.  Please, please, please try to be gentle with yourself.  Here is the reality: while you cannot know with certainty one way or the other, there is a very, very, very small chance that anything you did or did not do changed the outcome.  And, what you are dealing with very likely could end up being nothing.  I had a tongue tie, as did my child.  I never even thought of it as a defect; just something some people have.

You are going to have to pace yourself and realize you won't get answers right away, so in the meantime, do what you CAN do - love your baby, be the best mom you can be, and enjoy this experience.  These early days with your baby are precious, so do everything you can to savor them.  Don't waste them with useless worry.

Thinking of you, OP.  Take care.[/quote]

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