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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]NP... Hi OP, I'm going to come at  your situation from my experience on 3 different fronts.  And let me say up front, mostly I'm thinking about the fact that you're single and your beautiful friend is in a LTR.  I totally understand and can relate to the aspect of your experience with her that was interesting from a sociological kind of perspective, but at the end of the day it's the "always Skipper" feeling and being single I was struck by.  If neither of those are why you wrote this, than ignore my post... ;)

Angle 1: The Uber Hot friends:  I guess I've had 4 of these in my life (I'm almost 50 now), and all of them had a long hard journey to getting to be as well-balanced as your friend sounds.  I know exactly what it's like to go out with them and feel invisible or feel like the handy step stool for the guys trying to climb over the other guys trying to get to the hot friend.  What I can say is this: if you enjoy your time out with your friend, and you don't feel like total crap every single time you get home after being with her, cool, you should keep going out with her.  But if it really messes with your self-esteem on a regular basis, while single it's probably not the best use of time.  Maybe do the other stuff you used to do together or go out when her BF is with her?  It can be too unsettling to deal with that insane "shark feeding frenzy" energy when you are looking for a BF yourself.

Angle 2: The Uber Hot Uber In-Demand Men:  So without going way off on a tangent, my old job for years used to bring me in contact with a lot of very famous people in the entertainment industry (mostly actors but musicians too).  I have never ever been drop dead gorgeous myself.  I clean up well, but I mostly look kinda "cute" but not in any "I get hit on all the time" way at all.  But I've been very lucky, have had some interesting experiences and have good stories, met very interesting people, and more than anything at a  young age met an amazing guy who was probably my first major major love and he was all about intelligence and world-view when choosing women above all else.  He liked cute girls as well, but he dated many girls who made his friends scratch their heads because he always had gorgeous ridiculously attractive girls climbing all over him and he usually just wasn't interested.  This served me well in the entertainment world, because I learned very early on that at the end of hte day, these Uber Hot people were human and just wanted good conversation and while the worship was great (and some of them absolutely fed off of it, but I usually didn't date or become friends with them because they usually had off the chart egos), most of them really liked just being with nice smart confident-but-not-cocky people.   So basically this is what I learned: in a room full of attractive women vying for attention of a certain hot/famous/hot and famous guy, it was the woman who was NOT vying (but also not faking not vying, i.e. she couldn't be secretly just waiting to pounce) for attention and also the woman who could say something real/interesting/un-adoring that they noticed the most.  Again and again.  Sure, when just looking for sex, they might pounce on the hottest woman (in their eyes) there... but for dating and friendship and often working, it was much more important that she be, as the French say: "Comfortable in her own skin".

Angle 3: As I said, I'm not super hot or even hot, at all.  But over the years I've noticed so often that, even after trying for weeks to spice up my look, look much more attractive, etc, I might occaisionally get more attention or meet more guys, but it was ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS the days that for some reason having nothing to do with romance or my appearance I woke up in a great mood - something great happened at work, close friends were visiting, I'd gotten a full night of sleep - whatever - and I'd go outside in sweats or some ancient sundress and just be humming along and enjoying my journey to wherever I was going - THOSE WERE THE DAYS I felt like a model or one of my Uber Hot Friends!  I would get so.much.attention from these really good looking guys!  I could never bottle that or figure out how to "invoke it" when I really wanted to look good, I just had to be in the right frame of mind.  But what I did figure out is that when I was single and trying to meet new guys, I was always most successful when I focused on other aspects of my life and making myself happy than if I focused on my appearance or "how I presented" when I was out.  My now DH is 12 yrs younger than me and when I first met him (through online dating), to hear him tell it it was like "the Spanish Inquisition", in that I was thoroughly uninterested in the fact that he was hot (ok, not thoroughly uninterested!  But it wasn't the most important thing by a long shot), I cared a lot more about the non-physical and I asked a LOT of questions.  We had a great talk and years and kids later, even though we've been through many very tough times, I feel so lucky to have found him.  But he later went on to tell me that I was one of the few women who didn't chase him, "you just...liked me.  A lot.  But seemed fine with whatever happened."  I was determined to feel good about me and my life regardless of what happened with any particular guy I met.  That attitude served me REALLY REALLY well.

Which loops me back to where I started... if you can stay focused on you and your life and being the happiest, most self-sufficient and content (or wildly excited about yourself works too :D ) person, then yes, keep going out with your hot friend to wherever you want to go.  But if it crushes your spirit or freaks you out, no, you should only hang out at each other's house or in basements with no other people.

Good luck OP, with whatever you are looking for.  :)[/quote]

+1 all good advice[/quote]

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