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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If he is disgusted with the idea of leaving his wife, they why should he leave his wife? He loves her, they have kids. [b]how is his having feelings for another man different from having feelings for another woman?[/b][/quote]

Yes, married with kids --- he signed on the dotted line and made a commitment, then made further commitments by having not ONE but more kids.

He's a married man, and should behave as one. [/quote]

Being gay isn't a choice and people are imperfect and sometimes it takes a lot of time to figure out that they can't "make it work" for the sake of keeping up appearances. Why on earth would a woman WANT to be married to a man who's really gay? You would want that for yourself and for your children? He's a married man who loves his wife but knows he's incapable of making her as happy as she could be.[/quote]

Because he's her husband and the father of her children?

You could just as easily as "why would a woman WANT to be married to a guy who fell in love with his much younger and hotter secretary? He's a married man who loves his wife but knows he's incapable of making her as happy as she could be."

That's BS. He needs to be open and honest with his wife, but leaving her because his dick is pulling him in a different direction is a douche move, regardless of whether the guy in question is gay or straight. He's having an emotional affair, period. If he does leave, he's still the bad guy in my book.

And I have plenty of gay friends who DID NOT MARRY STRAIGHT WOMEN when they felt conflicted for years about who they were before coming out. Why would you make that commitment and then TRIPLE DOWN by having two kids and then think you midlife-crisis crush/change of sexuality entitles you to ditch your family?[/quote]

So much judgement about how people discover themselves and make poor decisions even when they're trying to do the "right thing". I'm not him but I understand that it isn't as easy as it would seem. Especially in his religious community.

I have plenty of gay friends as well and I do know a number of them who have had marriages and have adult children now. If you're the type of person who things being gay is about dicks and not connecting to someone emotionally I don't really know what to say to you.[/quote]

But you're not responding to the same scenario among straight people -- when a man (or woman) realizes he/she made a "mistake" marrying their spouse because they later fall in love with someone else. How is this different, or do you also advocate leaving a marriage when either spouse falls in love with someone else?[/quote]

"Oh I fell out of love/in love with someone else and so now it's [i]best for everyone[/i] if I go chase down what I want and leave a whole family I helped create behind!" Doesn't matter if you're gay or straight, that is not right.[/quote]

Why does he have to leave them behind if they aren't married anymore? He doesn't dislike her[b] he's just a gay man who can't offer her the romantic connection he feels she deserves.[/b] He's not going to leave them with no money or upset their current housing/school situation no matter what he decides. He is just trying to determine how to best handle this.[/quote]

What if she says, "Your dishonesty ruined my chances of marrying a straight man and now you have to stay with me and help me raise these kids as a married couple, because that's what I deserve"?[/quote]

Well, anything is possible. We've discussed that as well. She's a very intelligent woman with lots to offer. I highly doubt she'll want to live her life in that fashion. She deserves better. Who are these women who want that kind of tension in life?[/quote]

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